


Lessons

by Spike_1790



Series: Voyeurism!Verse [3]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: M/M, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-31
Updated: 2012-03-31
Packaged: 2017-11-02 19:53:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/372759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spike_1790/pseuds/Spike_1790
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>4th in the Voyeurism!Verse. Set after Hells Bells. Andrew tries to warn Spike of Anya’s vengeful intentions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lessons

Andrew thought he spent a lot of time running away from things- demons, Warren… reality… Which, given that he lived in Sunnydale, Hellmouth capital of the world, was probably a very smart thing to do. The reason why he was running this time was one of the less smart things you could do on the Hellmouth. Apparently, ex-vengeance demons become very vengeful when left at the alter by their gay- or possibly bi- fiancés. It has a tendency to provoke them into becoming re-demonated… re-demonified… to being evil again.

And if someone ( _so_ not Andrew) happened to show the aforementioned possibly re-eviled ex-demon a few clips from hidden cameras of said gay fiancé doing some very naughty things with a possibly evil chipped vampire… well, it wouldn’t be _his_ fault that she found out…

Anyways… Andrew was running away from Anya. Running towards the relative safety of the Magic Box, where Spike would hopefully be waiting to comfort and forgive.

Hen the bell above the door jangled, announcing the arrival of yet another customer, Buffy groaned in despair. Every time that bell rang, she had flash backs to the day that wouldn’t end. Maybe she could talk Giles into replacing it with something else. Or taking it down all together and _not_ replacing it, because customers? Epic pain in the ass. Maybe they could get a puppy instead…

Drifting out of her daydream, she realised that the blonde guy from Warren’s little gang (Allen? Albert? Adam?) was talking. Just his presence was pissing her off, especially given that he was the one ho had made that evil door bell ring again.

“I am here to pledge my allegiance to the great and mighty Master Spike, who will make me his consort, or his child, so we can elope to Me-hi-co.” Andrew looked round at the blank expressions of Buffy, Giles, Tara and Willow. “Where is he?”

Buffy sighed, and started speaking very slowly, like she would to a child, or a French person who was asking for directions. “The great and mighty Spike, more recently known as the biteless and moronic Billy Idol Wannabe, isn’t here. He’s at his crypt. Where he lives. Away from people like us, who hate him. You should leave too.” Then her expression brightened, the eyes brightening and she flashed him a sunny smile. “Hey, maybe you should go find Spike! That way, if you get eaten by a demon, I wont have to find a way to kill you myself for ruining Xander’s wedding.” Andrew gulped, his eyes comically wide.

“I have information! We could trade? I show you what Anya got to see, and what she’s planning to do and in exchange, you take me to your leader.”

“Spike is _not_ our leader. And I don’t want to know what you showed Anya,” Buffy told him, scrunching her nose up at the various things Anya could have been shown.

“Andrew tried not to look disappointed. “Really? ‘Cause some of it’s really hot…” Buffy’s death glare shut him up. Dropping the disks on the counter, he made a hurried exit, heading towards Spike’s crypt. Surely _Spike_ would be glad to see him? Especially as he had information to share…

***

“She’s going to shrink my WHAT?!”

Andrew cringed at the pitch Spike’s voice reached. “Shrink your penis. But relax,” Andrew told the vampire, who was shifting uncomfortably, trying to look calm and collected while also trying to be on the look out for penis shrinking vengeance demons. “We’ll stop her! You and me. Sire and Childe. Lovers, eternally.”

“Shut up, you pillock. I’m not turning you, and I’m not shagging you. I don’t know you, and even if I did, I doubt I’d like you.”

“But… you touched yourself in front of me…” Andrew all but whispered, red faced and feeling very self-conscious all of a sudden.

“That was you? Huh. Hard to focus on little things like that when you’re in the middle of a world class shag.”

“Oh.”

“Now, do you have a plan to stop me getting my parts shrunk? Or is the plan to wait here with my pants down and cock out until Anyanka shows up?” Spike growled, eyes yellow. Andrew licked his lips, gaze dropping to the crotch of Spike’s jeans. Spike growled again. “I’m not dropping trou for you.” Andrew looked disappointed again.

***

_Meanwhile, back in the magic box…_

“I had no idea Xander looked so good with his shirt off!” Buffy murmured, gaze fixed on the screen of Willow’s laptop, where a very naked Spike and a very naked Xander were doing naked things together. Naked things that Spike seemed to be enjoying quite a bit, judging from the expression on his face and the noises she knew he was making (Willow had had to kill the sound after the first thirty seconds- Spike was a screamer). Willow paused the video so that Xander’s muscled torso was as visible as it could be.

“I had no idea Spike was so flexible,” said a voice from behind them. Willow spun round, and Buffy’s hand went to the stake she habitually carried in the back pocket. Both gasped at the sight of Anya’s demon face. “Don’t worry. I’m not going to do anything vengeancy. I’ve recently learned that women can have orgasms without a man, and that nerd has shown me how to access the cameras in Spike’s crypt and your training room here. FYI, you may want to sponge down the vaulting horse, and replace the top three training mats,” she said with a conspirational wink. “Apparently Spike and Xander’s sexcapades have got a little… athletic recently. Anyway, I just thought I should let you know that I won’t be shrinking Spike’s penis, even though he did steal my fiancé and ruin my wedding.” Willow decided to keep quiet and nod her head in agreement. “Besides, if Spike’s penis shrinks, Xander may not keep having orgasms with him, and I won’t be able to watch, so it’d be a win-win situation if I didn’t shrink it. Let Spike and Xander know for me? Good.” And with that, Anya teleported away, leaving a baffled Willow and Buffy alone with their video of shirtless Xander and flexible Spike.

“Damnit!” Buffy shouted. Willow looked at her, confused. “I didn’t ask her for the links to the live feeds from the cameras,” she explained. Willow rolled her eyes. Buffy huffed in annoyance. “Well, can you blame me? They’re both really hot!”


End file.
